Let Them Shine: Unleashing Your Child's Inner Superpower!
- Monica Sood
- Feb 2
- 4 min read
"The things that make me different are the things that make me." —A. A. Milne
This simple yet powerful quote reminds us that our unique qualities are what define us, bringing depth and richness to our character. In a world that often pressures us to conform, it’s our individual traits—those quirks, strengths, and even flaws—that truly make us who we are. For parents, embracing this truth can be transformative. Recognising and celebrating what makes us unique enables us to support our children in finding and valuing their own individuality. Self-awareness in parents is the cornerstone of mindful parenting—it sets the example for children to discover, appreciate, and build on their own strengths.
My book, Shine Like a Star- A Book of Affirmations, provides affirmations that help children thrive, and the first section is about appreciating uniqueness. In this blog post, I’ll share why encouraging children to celebrate their individuality is essential and how parents can foster this appreciation daily.
The Importance of Recognising Unique Strengths
Every child is different—some are introspective, others are expressive; some love to explore, while others prefer to observe. It is vital to understand that, measuring our child against peers, siblings, or societal standards can hinder a child’s growth, making them doubt their abilities and, ultimately, leading them to follow others’ paths rather than their own.
So, how can we encourage children to feel proud of who they are without pushing them into constant competition? Start by fostering self-reflection and guiding them to compare only against their own progress. Celebrate their strengths, acknowledge their efforts, and help them see the value in every step forward.
Four Pillars of Nurturing Uniqueness
Focus on Strengths First: Rather than pointing out what your child lacks, focus on what they excel at. Children remember criticism, but it’s praise and encouragement that inspire them to improve. Acknowledging their strengths first builds their confidence and self-esteem, making it easier for them to tackle challenges.
What to Say Instead
❌ "You're not good at this." → ✅ "I love how hard you’re trying—keep going!"
❌ "You always make mistakes." → ✅ "Mistakes help us learn. What can we try differently next time?"
❌ "You’ll never get this right." → ✅ "This is tough, but I believe in you. Let’s break it down together."
By shifting the focus to strengths, you build resilience, self-esteem, and a love for learning, helping your child approach challenges with confidence rather than fear.
Create a Supportive Environment: A nurturing environment is one where children feel free to take risks, make mistakes, and try new things without fear of judgment. Respect their ideas, offer options, and encourage them to make decisions, giving them the tools to become independent and self-assured.
Instead of only celebrating achievements, acknowledge the hard work, creativity, and persistence behind their efforts. This helps children develop resilience and a growth mindset.
✅ What to Say:
“I love how much effort you put into this!”
“That was a great idea—how did you come up with it?”
“I’m proud of you for trying something new. What did you learn?”
When children feel supported in their efforts rather than judged by their outcomes, they become more willing to explore, innovate, and build confidence in their abilities.
Guide Them to Find Their Inner Voice: Teach your child to reflect on their experiences, both positive and negative, and learn from them. Encourage them to think critically about outcomes and discuss what went well and what they can improve. A simple “stars and wishes” exercise—where they list one strength and one area for growth—helps them gain perspective and embrace their journey of self-discovery.
Ask open-ended questions like “How did that experience make you feel?” or “What would you do differently next time?”
Acknowledge their emotions and perspectives, even if you don’t always agree. Saying “I understand why you feel that way” or “It’s okay to feel frustrated; let’s figure out a way forward together” helps them trust their own voice.
Share your own experiences of learning and growth. When children see you reflecting on your actions and discussing what you’ve learned, they’re more likely to do the same.
By guiding children to find their inner voice, we help them build self-confidence, emotional intelligence, and the ability to navigate life with clarity and purpose.
Incorporate Positive Self-Talk: Reinforce your child’s strengths through positive affirmations, reminding them of what they’re good at and helping them build a resilient inner voice. These positive statements help rewire their brain by shifting focus from limitations to strengths. When repeated consistently, they boost self-esteem and resilience, helping children navigate setbacks with a growth mindset. It is important to remember while affirmations are powerful, they need to be supported with action and experience to truly build confidence. Saying “I am brave” is most effective when paired with real moments of courage, like speaking up in class or trying something new. By pairing positive words with real experiences, children learn to believe in their own abilities, embrace challenges, and develop an unshakable sense of self-worth.
What Science Says?
Research shows that children with positive self-esteem are better equipped to handle challenges and maintain mental well-being throughout life.
By creating a supportive environment where they can recognise and celebrate their strengths, we help children build a strong inner voice that supports them through challenges.
Helping children understand their uniqueness is one of the most valuable gifts we can give to them. Encourage them to embrace their strengths, believe in their potential, and follow their path. By supporting them in this way, we empower them to thrive and reach their true potential—confident, resilient, and uniquely themselves.
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